So throughout the years I’ve succeeded in a lot of personal goals, expanded my comfort-zone on different levels and had some great life changing experiences. Looking back to the last 5 years I can say that I am very happy of all the things that I’ve done and achieved. Still, even though all those achievements and experience were really rewarding, it is actually only since the last 2 years that I’ve learned how to actually enjoy my life more. So lets sum up a few things that helped me to enhance the quality and experiences of my life.
Enjoy the process, not only the achievement
One of the biggest mistakes that I have made several times, was to only look at the goal, not the overall process. For a long time, I had the feeling that I only could relax and enjoy life once I completed my goal. This pushed me to a great length, but at the same time also made me more tired and even maybe less productive. Once I achieved a goal, I would almost immediately set-up a new goal, with the result that I was always chasing goals and thus only enjoying my life for 10%. In life 90% of the time we are in the process, not at the end result. The process of achieving goals, getting our self on track, finding a job, maybe even the right partner, becoming a better person and trying to make something out of life. Why not enjoy the process and just know that even though our current situation is maybe not the desired situation, we still have a lot to be thankful for. Try to stand still for a moment, look at what you have, just focus on the fact that you can breath or walk, all the friends and family that we have or the beautiful people that you’ve met, but also enjoy being the person that you have become today and the future person that you are going to become. There is always something to be grateful for, and even when it seems like that everything is falling down, you can still ease your mind with the fact that you are currently working at becoming a better person and are working for a better tomorrow. For me that is always a thought that at least gave me some strength or a little smile on my face. Since nothing is everlasting and thus will always change.
Fighting for approval
In the past I’ve pushed my self a lot, just for the approval of my boss, friends or even girls. In the end I was just proving myself the fact that I was worth something, that I could achieve things that people wouldn’t expect from me. Even though this also helped me a lot, I can say with a certain certainty, that this is not the place that you want to be in. Since you’ll lead your life based upon the opinion of others, but not by your own heart desires. For me this is almost the same as a mental suicide, since you’ll place your whole value as human being in the hands of someone else. Now I can say that I not push myself anymore for the approval of others, but for the fact that I love life and that I am curious to see what it can gives me and what I am capable of. This way I am spending more time on doing things that I find worthwhile to spend my time on, and I am sure that I’ll lead the life that I want to lead. Not ending up with a life wondering where it al went wrong and why I didn’t become the person that I actually wanted to become. Besides that, you also automatically connect with people that have the same mindset and that you need in your life. And you’ll get rid of the people that are a negative influence for you and are just holding you down in your true potential. A beautiful quote from Dr. Seuss says this perfectly.
Those Who Mind Don’t Matter, and Those Who Matter Don’t Mind
Being controlled by fear and negative thoughts
While there are not many times that fear stopped me in taking action or standing for the principles that I believed in, it did however controlled my mind. I always did the things that I believed in, even though it was scary. What I didn’t understand at that time, was how many times the same thoughts of fear were going on and on in my head. Repeating like a tape that was stuck while playing. Which eventually ruined my day, a good nights sleep and partially also my life. The way we experience life is not based on the things that happen to us, but rather the action that we take and the thoughts that we allow in our mind. With a lot of negative thoughts, you’ll experience life negatively, even when you’ve achieved and own everything that you wanted. If you have a lot of positive thoughts, you are more flexible and experience life positive. So try to notice those negative thoughts and understand that they are nothing more than just thoughts. Try to take action when fears come into your mind, or write it down so that you know what you’re dealing with and accept the fact that sometimes you just can’t control the outcome. You can however still control your actions and reaction. Most fears will even never ever being realized, so don’t let it take up so much of your time and headspace.
So those where 3 of my biggest happiness blockers the past years. I hope you’ve got some value out of this. Let me know if you can relate to this and which things in your life are your happiness blockers. Like always I hope you enjoyed this article and see you next time.
Samir is the author of vSAM.Pro & a Life enthusiast who works as a consultant in the field of IT. With a great passion for Tech & Personal Development, he loves to help people with their problems, but also inspire them with a positive outlook on life.
Besides that, he is also a big Sport & Music junky that loves to spend a big chunk of his time on producing music or physically stretching himself.